Deborah Beach Giordano
June 8, 2015
I’m down in the dumps, God; I’m in so deep that I doubt if even You can hear me.
I no longer cry; my tears dried up long ago. Despair has become a way of life: a well into which I’ve fallen that is empty of all meaning; an endless dark which no light can penetrate.
I feel no grief, no sorrow — only nothingness. Thoughts themselves have vanished.
I am beyond hope, beyond help, beyond salvation.
O God, can You hear me?
There is a certain comfort here. This place is mine alone: no one enters in to disturb my solitude, no voices disrupt the silence that fills my mind. The ache in my heart is as natural as breathing. I don’t know if I could live without it.
Yet the pain is too great to bear.
O God, do You hear me?
No one would stand a chance, Lord, if you left us on our own. Our human highs dazzle and confuse us, our lows drop us into the Pit — from which we sometimes cannot emerge.
You find us wherever we may be, and love us as we are — without regard for all that we have done and what we did not do. Your compassion is unfailing, Your mercy without limitations.
That sweet hope lifts my soul.
And so I wait for the Lord; my soul waits in trembling expectation.
My soul waits for the Lord —
more than those who watch for the morning,
more than those who watch for the morning.
O my God, surely You hear me, for Your love is unfailing.
Give me the faith, O Most Holy Lord, to hold on, and the strength to rise again.
The associated reflection may be found at