Psalm 130, retold

Deborah Beach Giordano
June 8, 2015

I’m down in the dumps, God; I’m in so deep that I doubt if even You can hear me.

I no longer cry; my tears dried up long ago. Despair has become a way of life: a well into which I’ve fallen that is empty of all meaning; an endless dark which no light can penetrate.

I feel no grief, no sorrow — only nothingness. Thoughts themselves have vanished.

I am beyond hope, beyond help, beyond salvation.

O God, can You hear me?

There is a certain comfort here. This place is mine alone: no one enters in to disturb my solitude, no voices disrupt the silence that fills my mind. The ache in my heart is as natural as breathing. I don’t know if I could live without it.

Yet the pain is too great to bear.

O God, do You hear me?

No one would stand a chance, Lord, if you left us on our own. Our human highs dazzle and confuse us, our lows drop us into the Pit — from which we sometimes cannot emerge.

You find us wherever we may be, and love us as we are — without regard for all that we have done and what we did not do. Your compassion is unfailing, Your mercy without limitations.

That sweet hope lifts my soul.

And so I wait for the Lord; my soul waits in trembling expectation.

My soul waits for the Lord —
more than those who watch for the morning,
more than those who watch for the morning.

O my God, surely You hear me, for Your love is unfailing.

Give me the faith, O Most Holy Lord, to hold on, and the strength to rise again.

Amen.

~~

The associated reflection may be found at
http://www.inklingscommunity.org

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About inklingscommunity

I am a struggling Christian, committed pacifist, near-obsessive recycler, incurable animal lover, inveterate tree-hugger; a nature mystic, a socialized introvert, an advocate for the vulnerable, an opponent of exploiters.
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