Calling for Help

Inspired by Psalm 30
Deborah Beach Giordano
© May 2, 2013

You can do it, gracious God –
and I know you will –
pull me out of this darkness,
lift my spirit,
restore my senses,
heal my body.

There are moments, Holy One,
when I feel
as if I’m in Hell;
as if I’ve sunk to the bottom
where there is no light,
only a bleak, endless pit.

I scratch at the sides
like a dog at the door
begging to come in
from the storm
that rages all around me
inside my skull
roaring thunder
churning my thoughts,
turning my world
upside down,
leaving my spirit
in tatters.

I remember –
as in a distant, other lifetime –
a different attitude,
a different sense,
a different way of being
and believing
when all was sunshine
and sweetness;
when each day
was filled with joy.

How smug and satisfied
I was
when all was well
with me;
thoughtlessly
accepting
many good things
as what was simply
what was due.

And then disaster:
darkness at midday,
a shadow
obscured the sun.

Like a blind mole
I stumble about
anxious to find
some comfort,
chasing after
past pleasures
seeking a sanctuary
from this
endless suffering.

We are restless, Lord;
until we find rest in Thee …
I know that to be true,
and so I search
for You –
an exercise
in futility
since
wherever we are
You are there.

You’ve not gone missing,
it is only I
who cannot see;
my eyes dim with tears,
my heart pierced by pain,
my soul shrouded in sorrow ….
even here, in my darkness,
even here,
this vast emptiness
is filled to overflowing
with You.

No pit can hold me,
no shadow can hide me,
no chains can restrain me,
no flaws or failings
can separate me
from Your boundless,
all-embracing
ever present
love.

And so I will sing –
a gladsome melody;
I will lift up my hands –
in grateful praise;
I will give thanks,
most-merciful One –
that wherever I am
You are here.

Amen.

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About inklingscommunity

I am a struggling Christian, committed pacifist, near-obsessive recycler, incurable animal lover, inveterate tree-hugger; a nature mystic, a socialized introvert, an advocate for the vulnerable, an opponent of exploiters.
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