inspired by Psalm 139
Deborah Beach Giordano
© July 9, 2012
How astonishing it is,
O my God,
that You know me,
inside and out.
You know where I am
and what I am doing,
what I’m thinking,
and what I am planning.
You know my hopes,
my fears,
my dreams,
and my desires.
And that
is too much information;
more than You need to know,
more than I want You to know.
I’ve said angry words,
uttered hateful wishes,
done wicked deeds…
And that’s none of Your business.
Sometimes I want to be alone,
left to my own devices,
without Your Spirit
breathing down my neck.
Sometimes
I’m not patient
or kind
or compassionate;
Sometimes
I’m fearful,
frustrated,
and just plain nasty;
Sometimes
I just want to hide
in a deep dark cave
and growl.
But even in the black depths
I cannot escape
for darkness is not dark
to You.
You, who are
wherever I am,
have seen the worst of it.
And I wish You hadn’t.
But if You are
still
wherever I am,
then You haven’t given up;
Even now,
even yet,
You are with me,
wonderfully;
Your eyes behold
the good
and glorious
possibilities
even as I stumble
and stray
You are strong
and steady;
though I fail
and flail and fall,
You remain with me
faithfully.
How astonishing it is,
O my God,
that, despite it all,
You love me, inside and out.
