You Know Me, O My God

inspired by Psalm 139
Deborah Beach Giordano
© July 9, 2012

How astonishing it is,
O my God,
that You know me,
inside and out.

You know where I am
and what I am doing,
what I’m thinking,
and what I am planning.

You know my hopes,
my fears,
my dreams,
and my desires.

And that
is too much information;
more than You need to know,
more than I want You to know.

I’ve said angry words,
uttered hateful wishes,
done wicked deeds…
And that’s none of Your business.

Sometimes I want to be alone,
left to my own devices,
without Your Spirit
breathing down my neck.

Sometimes
I’m not patient
or kind
or compassionate;

Sometimes
I’m fearful,
frustrated,
and just plain nasty;

Sometimes
I just want to hide
in a deep dark cave
and growl.

But even in the black depths
I cannot escape
for darkness is not dark
to You.

You, who are
wherever I am,
have seen the worst of it.
And I wish You hadn’t.

But if You are
still
wherever I am,
then You haven’t given up;

Even now,
even yet,
You are with me,
wonderfully;

Your eyes behold
the good
and glorious
possibilities

even as I stumble
and stray
You are strong
and steady;

though I fail
and flail and fall,
You remain with me
faithfully.

How astonishing it is,
O my God,
that, despite it all,
You love me, inside and out.

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About inklingscommunity

I am a struggling Christian, committed pacifist, near-obsessive recycler, incurable animal lover, inveterate tree-hugger; a nature mystic, a socialized introvert, an advocate for the vulnerable, an opponent of exploiters.
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