Deborah Beach Giordano
© June 7, 2012
For God alone my soul in silence waits;
from him comes my salvation. ~ Psalm 62:1
Waiting in silence –
well, a sort of silence,
in between the fussing
and toe-tapping impatience –
I wait
for God.
Actually that’s not true –
I don’t know
what I’m waiting for;
it might be God
or it might be
something else.
If I’m really honest –
what I’m waiting for
is a miracle:
an Act of God
that effects a solution
to all my problems.
I’m not waiting –
praying and listening
with faith-filled patience;
there is no soul-stillness,
no calm expectancy
of a divine reveal.
I’m daydreaming,
fantasizing endlessly
about a holy “fix”
that will make
all things
all right.
I don’t want to listen,
for sacred insights,
I want to tell God
how to arrange things
so all is perfect –
according to my plans.
Yet the answers –
my answers –
have failed to come;
why does God remain
so stonily silent,
when I’ve been so loud?
Then, in a moment of quiet,
an unpleasant understanding
reveals itself to me:
we cannot hear
any other speech
while we ourselves are talking.
Give me the gift, Lord,
of a tranquil spirit,
a quiet mind,
and a listening heart;
let me hear, in the stillness
Your blessed words to me.
Amen.
