New beginnings

This prayer is especially for those dealing with anger,
and who demand perfection from themselves and from others.

 

Confession, Repentance,
& Prayer for a New Beginning

Inspired by Psalm 130
Deborah Beach Giordano
© August 20, 2010

I am calling out Your name,
O God Almighty,
here in the depths of my despair.

I’m not sure
that You hear me …
maybe You’re avoiding me,
and I sure wouldn’t blame You
if You were.

I’m hardly a prize:
impatient,
irritable,
unforgiving,
angry
and judgmental;
filled with
envy
and resentment
and …..
……..
and …
fear
and
sorrow.

That’s what’s down there,
deep down,
there at the bottom,
beneath all the rest of it:
grief and hopelessness;
a massive, black terror
roaring incessantly:
a huge engine
generating
evil energy
that rises up
and spews out
in shouts
of rage
and shrieks
of pain.

It is uncontrollable,
with a life of its own,
a will of its own,
a power of its own;
and I am
its pawn:
pushed
from place to place,
driven
by emotions
too strong
to resist.

I am its victim
and its fuel:
slowly, steadily
being eaten alive
by the venom
flowing through my veins.

My thoughts spin,
heart aches,
my spirit is weary;
I am miserable
to the farthest reaches
of my soul;
and there are times …
times
when it seems
as if
the struggle
is futile;
as if
life
is pointless;
as if
it is impossible
to go on.

Oh my God,
have pity on me!

Your grace
is greater than my sin.
Your mercy
is far greater than my own.

Only You
can save me;
only You
can give me hope;
only You
can change
the way things are
into
the Way
they ought to be.

Help me
to begin
again;
to undo
the harm I have done;
to heal
the hurts I have caused
to myself
and to others;
teach me
to be faithful,
hopeful,
patient,
and kind.

Let there be peace on earth
and let it begin
with me.

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About inklingscommunity

I am a struggling Christian, committed pacifist, near-obsessive recycler, incurable animal lover, inveterate tree-hugger; a nature mystic, a socialized introvert, an advocate for the vulnerable, an opponent of exploiters.
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